Introducing the Snarky Editor

Give me the snark!

I’m Leigh Michaels, and I’ve been writing romance novels (both contemporary and historical) for … oh, a whole lot of years now. I’ve written 100 books, with more than 35 million copies in print in 27 languages and 120 countries.

As well as being an author, I’m a teacher, editor, coach, and mentor. When I deal with vulnerable writers, whether they’re my students or they’ve come to me for feedback on their manuscripts, I treat that relationship as a confidential one. Editor/author relationships and teacher/student relationships are private and safe, and they depend on trust. Writers put their faith in me to deal sensitively with their work, and I treasure that trust far too much to violate it. These are first drafts we’re working on — ideas in development — so any errors, mistakes, or misconceptions that we uncover in those working relationships stay between us.

But published books? Stories the author has decided are ready for public release and consumption? That’s a totally different thing. They’re fair game — and the Snarky Editor comes out of hiding now and then to comment on the awkward, silly, and sometimes hilarious editing errors found in published books.

So just to start us off, I’m going to share some of the bloopers I’ve made — some that reached publication, and others that thank heaven did not.

I’m the one who created an engagement ring that was “a cluster of solitaire stones.” (Think about it.)

I accidentally moved Buckingham Fountain, in Chicago’s lakefront park, because I didn’t stop to look up where it actually was located and whether it could be seen from Michigan Avenue.

I once wrote nine-tenths of a murder mystery but couldn’t finish because none of my suspects could have committed the murder.

I built the entire plot of a romance novel around events that happened on June 31, because I couldn’t be bothered to look at a calendar.

And when I was getting a book ready to re-release, and I’d scanned the pages and used software to convert the images to text, I almost published a version where the heroine “ran into his anus” instead of running “into his arms.”

Yes, as an author, I’ve made some egregious errors in my time. I’m sure I’ll remember more of them — and I promise to share as we go along.

First and foremost, though, I’m a reader. I’ll read almost anything, and I’ve always had fun spotting the bloopers. The Gateway Arch in St. Louis gleaming proudly in the sun… 10 years before it was built. The young woman who’s proud of her rod-iron (rather than wrought-iron) bed. Those, by the way, were both committed by Big Five publishers.

Of course, the new world of e-books is a treasure trove for The Snarky Editor, who spends a great deal of time with e-reader in hand. In this column, I’ll share some of the puzzling, jaw-dropping, eye-watering, and simply sad errors to be found in published books.

I’m looking forward to it — and I hope you’ll share the funnies you find as well.