Going walkabout
And yet more wandering body parts
A couple of years ago, The Snarky Editor brought up the question of body parts that wander round without seemingly being attached to a person. Sadly, her work on that occasion did not fix the problem. (What is wrong with authors, anyway, that many of them don’t seem to hang on The Snarky Editor’s every word?)
At any rate, it’s time to revisit the issue.
His body had climbed out of bed and gone to her.
Wow. Did the zombie apocalypse happen while The Snarky Editor wasn’t looking, to let this body act independently?
The face Katie was pleased to see walking in her direction….
The last time the Snarky Editor checked, faces don’t have feet, so they can’t walk.
…my eyes inhaled him…
Perhaps this author confused his eyes with his nose?
… expecting to see Liam’s familiar grin walk out…
Oh, the pain, when grins walk around without even putting on shoes and socks.
I spotted the back of a brown uniform walking away…
In this case, clothing is wandering around without — apparently — even adorning a body.
… a pair of polished Hessians stepped out…
Gentlemen in the Regency era really did feel their boots were special, but no matter what the time period, footwear doesn’t generally march around without feet inside.
The other thing The Snarky Editor noted about these examples is that they’d be more direct — as well as better — if the author hadn’t tried so hard to be fancy.
He climbed out of bed. Katie saw Randall walking toward her. She expected to see Liam’s familiar grin and blue eyes.
And so on.
The Snarky Editor comes out of hiding occasionally to comment on the awkward, silly, and sometimes hilarious editing errors found in published books.
#snarkyeditor #everybodyneedsaneditor
Leigh Michaels is the award-winning author of more than 100 books, including historical and contemporary romance, non-fiction books about writing, and local history. More than 35 million copies of her books are in print in 27 languages and more than 120 countries. She is also a writing coach and book editor, though she promises to be snarky only in regard to published books.
To find out more, check out https://leighmichaels.com